‘Dragging Behind’ Inspired by OBS ‘Greater’

‘What is your “net”?  (the thing that is keeping you from this greater journey?)  Can you let go of it?  Completely?

Leave your net and follow Jesus.’

#’Greater’withIntentionalFaith
This is today’s reflection question from Melissa Taylor’s OBS. A study that I’m really enjoying…a first time ever kind of thing and now wishing I had done one in the past but, feeling  for sure they’re a part of my future. Studies and thought like this bring out our answers, if we’re looking and if we’re asking. I’m INTENTIONALLY delving into this, I’m PURPOSEFULLY reading, asking and seeking. I’m WILLFUL about finding God in amongst this message that was divinely put in front of me!

‘Routine is a vital and biblical component in our relationship with God’

#Prayingforguidance
I’ve prayed for guidance and direction for almost 2 years now, specifically asking Him daily what my purpose is? Why am I here? Why have I gone through so much in my (fairly) young life? Has it all been for nothing? Why? Why? Why? Then, ironically, as He begins to actually answer me, I’m scared to death because it’s not what I was expecting at all…in fact, the total opposite. It’s similar to someone that may be soooooooo afraid of heights yet, they want to go up to the top at the Empire State Building to look over Manhattan while feeling the breeze and the sunshine. (The top is encased in chain link fence type stuff, offering the feel of being outside, a neat top of a building experience)

#SorryGod,IfonlyIcouldhave
In this analogy, first of all, one would have to want to go to the top of the Empire State building pretty badly. (I’ve been to the top…it’s an awesome, awesome experience)  They would have to fight through the anxiety of getting in the elevator, riding to the top, actually get out, walk down a hall to the door leading outside…to then look over and down all the while, feeling sick to their stomach coupled with having their fear of heights in full force. Afterwards, that person may feel like they’ve just had an experience of a lifetime! Being so so elated they actually did it, they tell people and show pictures. But, had they decided to skip it, giving into their insecurities, they may have regrets the rest of their life. That’s my biggest fear, to have regrets later. Eventually finding myself another decade older and nothing to show for it. I don’t want to have spent the last 10 years thinking, Oh, Lord how I could have glorified you so high…I could have shared my experiences of your grace, your forgiveness, and your love. Sorry, Lord,  I didn’t get past my insecurities. I couldn’t do what you wanted me to do.

I mean, seriously, I want to glorify God in all the ways I can…except this one.

We have to want to do it. So, in my reality, before I can fully step out in faith, I will have to want to conquer my biggest enemies, my ‘nets’ that are holding me back!! I have to want to step wayyyyyy outside of my comfort zone as a person filled daily with insecurities and lots of ‘hang-ups’. God has been helping me unpack the last many, many years (even before I formed a personal relationship, He was ‘orchestrating my destiny’, my life, my purpose, MY GREATER) but, I still hold onto so many internal things, thoughts and (at times) crippling insecurities, yet I want to do this for HIM because of what He’s done for me!

It scares me to think I may show up at my judgement, before God, with Him knowing that I had everything I needed but I (me only) feel I’m lacking the most important things, like courage, a ‘free’ mind not worried about things like my people anxieties or the judgement. The thing is, I know where I stand with Christ, I’m forgiven, because I believed and I asked for forgiveness. I know I’m going to Heaven so I’m not scared to die but, I don’t want to disappoint. How can I ignore this? I can’t. I want to step out in faith.

#Mynet
Here it is, my reality (my net) is that I’m more worried about people judging me instead of God’s actual judgement day?? What is NOT wrong with that??!!?

Why am I drowning in insecurity and fear?!?! Dear Lord, please be with me on this ‘stuff’. Please continue to guide me, my thoughts, my actions, my re-actions, my words. Please, please help me to find the courage in YOU to look past MYSELF. I know, Lord, it’s not about me…it’s about what I’ve been given from you…grace, mercy, and forgiveness. All glory to you, God, thank you for bringing me this far. I will continue to do my best, only looking to the end result…finding my place in helping to spread your love and forgiveness. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen

#Myhighlightsofthechapter
This chapter is SO perfectly titled…Dragging Behind…yep, that’s so me. I pray that I can use this study to really help me break free from those devil-planted thoughts and ‘feelings’ that control my mind on so many days. Through it all, I thank God for making His presence known in  life in so many different ways.

‘Igniting God’s vision starts with becoming more acutely aware of God’s presence in your life’ One of my favorite quotes from the entire chapter!! SO, so true! Another one is ‘Becoming aware of His presence is the first step to realizing His purpose’. I thank God I’m aware of His presence, just praying to have the strength to to help fulfill His purpose.

Some other fav quotes that really struck me:

‘That calling can change everything, if you discern it’

‘God communicates vision differently to everyone He calls’

‘You have to pay attention to the spiritual vibrations around you’

Evaluate the interruptions’

…’Be ready to respond in faith when it does’!!! WOW…I’ve been reminded several times in the last few days to ‘be ready’…different devotionals and scripture have made that known to me!! Now, I pray to just ‘take off running’!!!

God Bless,

Becky